“My heart is made of glass”
- Book: Betty
- Location: Ohio
- Author: Tiffany McDaniel
Oh Dear! That’s another full packet of tissues all used up, and I’m still a soggy broken heap!
I feel as though I have been on a terrifying journey which I didn’t particularly enjoy, which made me cringe, hang my head in shame, stirred my anger on more than one occasion, and yet a journey which I didn’t want to have to wake from and leave behind, with my many questions still unanswered.
What can I say about the sheer and stunning bravery of this story? How author, Tiffany McDaniel was able to put pen to paper and so maturely and masterfully record this heart-breaking family history, is beyond my emotional understanding and I have nothing but total respect and admiration for her and her mother, Betty.
I see this book as a work of important social, cultural and historical, literary fiction. Whether Tiffany would like it to be remembered as a work of fiction, a memoir dedicated to her mother, or a concept reflection of self-actualization, or maybe a little of each, is almost irrelevant in the scheme of things, so powerful a story that it is.
I feel almost voyeuristic in analysing life within this vulnerable family and these the pages of their tormented story, especially as I wouldn’t want to even begin to pass comment or judgement on any single conversation or event, which might be more fact than fiction; not knowing where fact stops and fiction begins, or vice versa.
Written throughout in the voice of a young Betty, this is truly and honestly, a coming of age story for her, although I felt that she was coming of age almost every day of her life, given the horrendous events she bore witness to, all the secrets she felt compelled to keep and the rollercoaster of emotions she had to quell and keep buried, to ensure that her dysfunctional family remained together, if not united, for as long as possible. To relieve some of the terrible tension and stress about the many things she had seen and heard, which no child should be subjected to, or the burden of others’ guilt she had to carry on her young shoulders, Betty writes everything down, usually as stories, which she then buries, but always safely, so that she can revisit them when daily life gets too much for her to bear and events from the past come back to haunt her anew.
Betty’s Cherokee father, Landon, is the bedrock of the family for Betty, and the axis on which it turns on a daily basis. Being the only one of his six living children who looks like him and is so akin to him in his outlook on life and family, Betty is so completely in tune with him, that I wondered just how many secrets there really were between them and how much Landon actually knew, but chose to close his eyes to, for fear of being overwhelmed, by the reality of his family’s life as it really was. Landon is Betty’s teacher about the ways of the past and her forefathers. He teaches both her and her siblings about their relationship with the land and how it can best provide for them. He tells stories which transport them to worlds miles away from the reality of their deprivation. That he loves them all and would lay down his own life for any one of them, is undoubted and unspoken, however they are all hanging on to life and family by the thinnest of thread and Betty’s mother, Alka is unable to offer little, if any, support to any one of them, especially Landon, so drowning is she in her own deep-seated grief, anger and despair.
There are one or two lighter moments, when to the innocent and unknowing bystander, life might almost appear ‘normal’ in the Carpenter household. However, gingerly begin to unpeel those tissue thin layers and the veneer begins to unravel quite quickly, into the chaos and heartache, which makes up everyday life. I have never come across a family with so many secrets, lies, deceit, self-denial, self-loathing and hatred, at its very core.
Alka is very much at the centre of each tragedy as it unfolds, as it is from her that the very core and essence of this family drama stems. At times I could have shaken her, for her lethargy, her unwillingness to interact with her children and offer them any motherly guidance, and her inability to contribute to the family unit in any tangible way, shape or form. Maybe if she had felt able to communicate with Landon, some of the tragedy might have been avoided, because I truly think he would have understood and probably supported her through her most difficult times. But as it is, I realise that she is simply a broken human being, both physically and mentally and who, unable to deal with life any more, continues to shut down at an alarming rate, as her condition deteriorates. Therefore, I think partially out of spite and partly because she simply doesn’t know what else to do, or where to turn, her innermost, most terrible secrets and thoughts are all placed firmly and squarely at Betty’s door, the youngest of her daughters, the one she resents the most because of her likeness to her father and the one she therefore chooses to burden, and against whom all of her vitriol and hate is directed.
This is a story of deprivation and abuse, written completely from the heart, with total confidence, authority and a desperate intensity, forming a narrative and dialogue which is compelling, vulnerable, yet truly lyrical in its quality. The intense enduring pain which emanates from this family is visceral, raw, gripping and disturbing, as they are each intent on self destruction and unable to comprehend the emotional and physical damage they are inflicting on themselves and everyone around them.
The wider detail outside the family home seems almost trivial by comparison, however not to tell of the small town prejudice, discrimination, verbal and physical abuse heaped upon the family as a whole, but Betty in particular, would be to allow people in authority, who should know better, to think they have got away with their bigoted beliefs and ideologies, and that would never do!
They do say that the ‘the sins of the fathers shall be visited on the sons’ and if you read this story right until the end, you will learn exactly what I mean. In the final devastating twist, it transpires that from one brutal, humiliating, depraved assault, perpetuated and repeated over many years, eight people’s lives are changed irrevocably forever. Only three will survive this maelstrom which spiralled out of control and engulfed them all, but what of them? – I guess only Tiffany really knows the answer to that question! However I became so invested in this story and the characters, that I would like to think that there is a small glimmer of hope for Betty and maybe a little peace in her final days for Alka, whilst Leland is in the right place for God to dish out the retribution he sees fit!!
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