“No one knows what I lost”
- Book: My Only Child
- Location: London
- Author: Sam Vickery
Oh My Goodness! This is the first book I have read by this amazing author and I really don’t know if I have the emotional strength to read any more, if they are all like this one! – There just aren’t enough tissues in the world to soak up all these tears – of both sadness and joy!!
Three short opening lines had me hooked, half guessing that bad news was to follow, but never knowing just how bad. The storyline had the right balance between plot and characters, although I think that there was definitely a strong third element central to this book, that of emotion. The ending was as divinely satisfying as I had hoped it might be, yet not in a contrived and sickly fashion.
I was half expecting it to come to light in Sam’s biography, that she had also enjoyed a career in the social sector, as there is so much attention to detail, not only in the fluidly written physical storyline, but also in the richly crafted and effortless narrative and dialogue. The research to get the balance just right was impeccable. My Only Child is a story revealed in the ‘then and now’; narrated in the ‘now’ in alternating chapters, by mother and daughter Hazel and Katherine; with Hazel sometimes taking time out to reflect back into the ‘then’ of her own unconventional past.
A desperately intense, powerful and multi-layered story, written with total confidence and authority by an author skilled in the imagery of words. There were so many emotionally traumatic, disturbing and compelling elements to this storyline, which might be difficult to read about, however the final package was told perceptively and intuitively, with real heart and compassion.
Sam took charge of the story outline masterfully and knew exactly which direction she wanted to go with it, however it was if she then gave the individual characters free reign and space to flesh out the details in their own time and at their own pace. So as not to reveal any additional spoilers to those the author chooses to share, the premise does offer a very good outline of the story, although there are the inevitable twists and turns along the way, that I never saw coming and would never have been able to pre-empt. This was such a great penetrating study of family dynamics and one which I could invest in all the way.
There are really only three central characters to this storyline, none of which, I have to say, were easy to connect with, although they all had very compelling voices. The emotional complexity of the situation, left them feeling alone and searching for a sense of worth and belonging, almost to the point of self-destruction. Their individual passion was raw, although channelled in very different directions. Each of them certain they knew what the others were thinking and how they felt, when if they had only found it within themselves to sit and talk out loud and let those emotions out into the open, much of the ensuing heartache and heartbreak could have been avoided – but then, is that really in our nature as humans?
Losing a child is never easy, no matter what the circumstances, so when a grieving, but determined Katherine is left by her husband Davis, to make all the choices about how their lives should move forward, rationale goes by the wayside and so potentially, does their relationship. It takes the firm hand and unselfish cool head of Katherine’s mother to instigate the change that might get things back on track, although nothing can be certain once she has unburdened her own, long held guilty secrets. Finally, Sam gave Davis the voice I suspected he always had and the outpouring of his own locked up grief, had me turning the pages ever faster. Ultimately though, it was down to Katherine, the instigator of much of her own unhappiness, who has to make that life-changing decision whether to unite this fledgling family unit, or irretrievably tear it apart!
As a reader, there are so many different journeys I could have taken with this story and my personal area of focus may not have been the same as anyone else’s, but that’s what made this lovingly written book, so special!
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